Louis Walsh is a retard, and other great search terms!

After nearly a whole year in operation, this site has picked up some inexplicable traffic thanks to search terms that are completely unrelated to the content on the blog. In what undoubtedly resulted in a number of disappointed browsers, the following search term is probably my favourite:  “Is Louis Walsh retarded?“. I’ve no idea why that links to this website, but I’m kind of glad that it does, it makes me feel content with life. It makes me realise that the pint-sized pop prick has probably said something so ridiculous and out of touch that a concerned citizen has been forced to seek reassurances from the internet regarding his mental state.

About a dozen different interpretations of “Berlusconi” also pepper the list  thanks to this curiously popular article, which has probably only gathered so many hits because I’m the only person on the internet who can be bothered to spell his name correctly. Even the spell checker asks if I’m trying to spell ‘wanderlust’ when I spell out the slimy pervert’s name. I also pity the gentleman who queeried the subtlety of spotify adverts with the term “spotify adverts are too in your face“. Poor guy, the world of free internet music is clearly an invasive and dangerous place.

Moving onto some terms that are quite perfectly linked with the blogs content, the following charmers almost single-handedly prove a point I was making in my article about Southend-On-Sea: “racism in southend“, “southend racist“, “too many niggers in southend“, “why is southend so racist?” and the even classier “two guys fuck a girl in southend on sea“. What a nice place. For some reason I am not swayed by the valiant counter-arguments in the comments section of that that article, it has generated more race related search terms than a post I knocked up about the BNP.

Onto lighter subjects, I can only feel sorry for the origami enthusiasts who stumble upon the site in search of ‘paper airship instructions‘, and the more extreme folder – obviously in need of medical attention; “airship paper cut“. I just hope he’s ok. The equally bewildering “how to pose with a guitar” and assumedly related “gitarren pose” search terms regularly appear in a variety of languages, yet I don’t recall writing an FAQ on how to look good with an axe.

The search term list is one of the most hilarious tools on a wordpress blog, there’s no doubt about it. If a queery isn’t utterly dumbfounding then it’s usually a clear advert that people need to learn how to use a search engine. I shall leave with this simple poser, which might just’ve actually linked to an article that helped: “Why is the Quake II soundtrack so damn good?“. Tell me about it, son!